Marriage isn’t a joke! Who you marry determines how your life will turn out.
Your success or failure in life is determined the day you walk down the aisle with that woman, so you can’t afford to pick another man’s bones.
Here are the questions you should ask to determine whether your marital destiny is heading in the same direction.
1. WHAT IS HER VISION? Your wife must help you fulfil your vision; that is why she is called a help-meet. If her dream is to become an international supermodel while your dream is to become a local full-time pastor, you will do well to end the relationship!
2. IS SHE BORN AGAIN? Forget about religion. I’m referring to Christ-like behaviour, attitude, and character. Some ladies can tie a scarf all day long, but their poison is more deadly than the serpent’s! If her character does not reflect that of a true child of God, you should reconsider!
3. IS SHE A VIRGIN OR NOT? You should find out what to expect on the wedding night and how to prepare for it.
4. DOES SHE HAVE AN EX? And what led to the breakup, so she won’t repeat the same mistake in your relationship? If she still keeps a close relationship with her ex, she needs to choose between you and him. No rivalry is allowed in any relationship that will last.
5. HAS SHE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED, ATTACKED, OR RAPED
Abused women have complex emotions and relationships. They experience uncontrollable mood swings, depression, paranoia, and, in severe cases, psychosis and neurosis. They are extremely angry and lack trust. You need to find out so that you can relate to her in marriage. Better yet, she should seek therapy before marriage.
6. DOES SHE HAVE A CHILD IN HER PAST? You must accept her child as your own now that you are getting married to her. If you can’t and she insists her child must live with her in marriage, you don’t belong together. End the relationship!
7. WHAT DOES MARRIAGE MEAN TO HER? Real marriage means companionship, deep sharing, and friendship. If all she wants to do is have sex, cook, and bear your children, she is not ready for marriage. Both of you should go for counselling.
8. WHAT DOES SUBMISSION TO A HUSBAND MEANS TO HER? A wife must submit to her husband as the head of the marriage. That is what the Holy Book says. If she is a feminist and you hate feminism with passionate hatred, you don’t belong together; end the relationship!
9. DOES SHE BELIEVE IN WORKING AFTER MARRIAGE OR DOES SHE WANT TO BE A FULL-TIME HOUSEWIFE? Iron this out so you won’t be shocked if she resigned from her job after her first pregnancy and refused to do anything else aside from cooking and bearing children.
10. WILL ANY OF HER FAMILY MEMBERS BE LIVING WITH YOU AFTER MARRIAGE? Talk. Find out if you can cope with her siblings or parents living with you immediately after the wedding. If you honestly can’t, talk about it!
11. WHAT IS HER VIEW ABOUT MONEY? Some women believe money is meant to be spent, while others believe it is to be saved. A lot of others believe in accumulating liabilities. Though the right way to handle money is to earn, save, invest, and give, Spending should follow a budget. What is your own way of handling money? Make sure your views on money are balanced, lest you end up in divorce court a few years after marriage.
These and more are the serious questions you should ask your partner before saying, “I do.” Amos 3:3 is a proof of God’s will.
If you claim you heard God and both of you are not going in the same direction, you need to pray again. God’s will is not an excuse to walk in foolishness.
Yes, you must marry God’s will for your life, and God’s will must give you peace. If you are scared or troubled and your relationship is going nowhere, end it before it ends you.
May the Lord grant you understanding. Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
